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billy jonas / bridging divides

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Hairy Things

HAIRY THINGS

CHORUS: Hairy things, hairy things, everywhere are hairy things
Hairy things, hairy things....WATCHOUT for those hairy things

YOU: what do you mean by hairy things?
BILLY: did you know there are 4 kinds of hairy things?
YOU: four?
BILLY: yeah there’s hair on your head
YOU: hairy hairy
BILLY: there’s something frightening
YOU: scary hairy
BILLY: there’s a situation that’s difficult or frustrating
YOU: complicated hairy
BILLY: and then there’s like my favorite uncle
YOU: Uncle Harry
BILLY: who’s very hairy
YOU: hairy Uncle Harry
BILLY: yeah -- I’ll sing you some questions, see if you can guess what each thing is
YOU: OKAY!!!

Shaggy yak? HAIRY HAIRY
Monkeys’ back? HAIRY HAIRY
Lumber jack? HAIRY HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

Bees that sting? SCARY HAIRY
Stephen King?  SCARY HAIRY
Tornados in the spring? SCARY HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

CHORUS

Taxes!? COMPLICATED HAIRY
Politics!? COMPLICATED HAIRY
Cramming for a test in quantum physics!? COMPLICATED HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

arm u scrub? HAIRY HAIRY
what’s left in the tub? SCARRY HAIRY
now the drain is clogged? COMPLICATED HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

CHORUS

You got a  flat tire? COMPLICATED HAIRY
...while going 60 mph?  SCARY HAIRY
…and you hit a truck carrying wigs?  COMPLICATED HAIRY - SCARY HAIRY - HAIRY HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

Seven foot Wookie? HAIRY HAIRY - SCARY HAIRY
"Me want cookie?" HAIRY HAIRY - SCARY HAIRY
Get caught by your principal, who looks like bigfoot, when you’re playing hookie:
                                  HAIRY HAIRY - SCARY HAIRY - COMPLICATED HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

CHORUS

At the hogwarts school? HARRY POTTER,
President of the United States during World War II? HARRY TRUMAN
Judge on american idol and he can sing 2: HARRY CONNICK JR.
All of those are hairy things!

Famous magician who escaped from a  straight jacket under water: HARRY HOUDINI
Famous abolitionist who ran the underground railroad to help slaves escape: HARRIET TUBMAN
Famous musician during the civil rights era who sang "DEO, me say DAY-AY-AY-OH:" HARRY BELAFONTE
All of those are hairy things!

Lead singer of blondie? DEBBIE HARRY
Make my day: DIRTY HARRY
The last one’s name is harry,  he’s very very hairy,  takes us bowling on Thanksgiving
    gives the best holiday presents ever,  except for the year he was shaving his back, and the hair fell into a space heater and
    caused a fire in the bathroom that almost burned down the whole neighborhood.... And he’s my relative:
    HAIRY HAIRY - SCARY HAIRY - COMPLICATED HAIRY - HAIRY UNCLE HAIRY
All of those are hairy things!

CHORUS